Dear Nearlywed, I Got You a Trashcan + Other Marital Advice (+ Giveaway WINNER announced!)

Dear Nearlywed,

I see those stars in your eyes (somewhere amidst the insomniatic bloodshot streaks – don’t worry, invitations don’t go on forever). If dreams could talk, yours would be going a mile a minute because there are just so many you can’t count. Kinda like those stars.¬†You’ve been telling us all how Pinterest is your new coffee:¬†addictive, keeping you up nights, but it’s soooooooooooo gooooooooooood!!

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Your world is tulle, satin, bridal white and floral bright and rose-colored, and beautiful. You’re beautiful. He’s beautiful. I can’t tell you how happy you both make me. You’ve got your providence-picked Mr. Right, and you’re over the moon, and it’s showing. You’re glowing, and the rest of us are basking in the ambience. You invited me to your party, to celebrate, and I was dancing barefoot in the kitchen. I can’t wait!

So, in honor of all this loveliness, I bought you a trash can.

trashcan opaque text

Let me explain. (more…)

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